Living authentically

If you look back on my New Year's Resolution post of earlier this year, you'll see I resolved to adapt to an entirely plant-based diet by the end of 2013.  I had been a vegetarian since early 2011 after watching the movie Food Inc. and Forks Over Knives.  To be more concise, I was a ovo-lacto-pescetarian consuming eggs, dairy and fish.  

By the middle of 2013, I assumed my resolution to become a vegan would go by the wayside as so many resolutions do (see the one I made about writing in this blog more often) and I was okay with that.  After all, I was still sticking to not eating meat and it seemed to be working for me.

But was it working?  In March of 2013, my cholesterol was 274 and my doctor was being patient with me.  He gave me another six months to get it under control threatening to put me on medication if it didn't happen.  The thought of having a stroke lingered in the back of my mind but it wasn't enough of a threat to give up the eggplant parm pizza I adored or the cream cheese on a bagel I'd treat myself to now and then.  I resigned myself to having to add another pill to my pill sorter and was assured by many friends who had also resigned themselves to the medication that it really wasn't that bad.  One simple pill a day and you could eat whatever you wanted.

Then I got sick.  Really sick.

I'm never sick.  In almost 9 years of employment at my current job, I had only taken two sick days.  The company would hand over a big check every year to pay me back for the personal/sick time I hadn't used.  With this illness, I depleted my sick time from 33 hours to only 30 minutes.

I had a fever, body aches and extreme fatigue.  I went to the doctor but the strep and flu tests both came back negative.  On top of this, I developed thrush which resulted in painful mouth blisters that made it almost impossible to eat or drink.  I couldn't even brush my teeth.  I stayed in bed for five days.

During this time, I thought about how I had been neglecting my health and I thought about my relationship with food.  I came to the conclusion I had been heading down a bad path of overeating and worse yet, overeating unhealthy foods.  I knew going to a completely plant-based diet was how I wanted to live but I just didn't make the commitment to do it.  I also knew that the dairy and egg industries were just as cruel to animals as those that slaughter them for their meat.  Yet, I didn't make the change.  My beliefs and my actions didn't match up.  I wasn't living authentically and I believe my body knew this.  It was time to put my money where my mouth was and live what I believed.

When I was finally feeling well enough to eat, I made the decision to go completely vegan.  My brother and sister-in-law had been vegan for over a year and I knew I'd have their support and advice.  I had every Happy Herbivore cookbook Lindsay Shay Nixon had written but I hadn't made an effort to actually incorporate any of the recipes in them but now I took them off the shelf and pored over them for meal ideas.

My brother started a blog this summer which has been very useful to me.  Meaty Vegan is his story of going from a gravy lovin', chicken wing eatin' omnivore to a committed gluten-free vegan.  His blog led me to a book I cannot recommend highly enough.  Victoria Moran's Main Street Vegan: Everything You Need to Know to Eat Healthfully and Live Compassionately in the Real World not only tells you why you should be plant-based but how to do it easily!  It even includes recipes which make it so simple to made this huge lifestyle change.
 
After only three weeks of being vegan, my cholesterol went from 274 to 169!  My HDL (the good cholesterol) went up and my LDL (the bad cholesterol) went down.  My pants fit better and my overall health has improved.  Most importantly, I feel like I'm finally living authentically.  My belief in cruelty-free eating is in line with what I choose to put in my mouth.  I did it for the environment, the animals, for myself as well as for those I love.

It's not always easy.  Eating in restaurants is a challenge.  No more stopping for a Filet O' Fish at McDonald's when I'm in a hurry.  Now I'll stop at Moe's and get a vegan burrito or better yet saute greens in olive oil and throw in a can of black-eyed peas.  Vegan fast food, baby!  And even though he's an omnivore, my boyfriend has been an amazing supporter of my decision and loves to create delicious vegan meals which he enjoys as well. 

The unexpected bonus to all this is that I feel my life is finally in balance.  I'm living what I believe and it feels good.

169 feels real good too.

Pain and joy

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, 

your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.

 Kahlil Gibran

This quote by one of my favorites appeared in my inbox this morning.  Divine intervention, perhaps.  But it led me to think about what I've been through and where I am now.

It's quite a miracle that my life has taken the path it has.  I've met a wonderful man who has walked his own path of pain, suffering and heartbreak but now we share joy.

This joy would not be as wondrous as it is if we didn't have to go through the pain.  I had to be in an emotionally abusive relationship.  I had to be lied to and betrayed.  I had to learn to let go of the past and the people who hurt me.  He had to be feel the pain of sudden loss and both of us had to feel the despair of loneliness. It is the ying and the yang which makes up the fabric of our experiences.  Pain must be felt in order to fully appreciate the joy. 

Joy that will never be taken for granted.

 

A Gardener's Confessions

Time in the garden is a thrill for me! The delicious anticipation as the weather warms and the day finally arrives to plant the seedlings. Hauling buckets of water up the hill is like presenting a sacrifice to the gods of good harvest. The pure joy that comes from picking, cooking, eating and sharing the bounty is almost spiritual in nature. Bring on spring!

It was almost two years ago that I put in my raised bed garden.  My landlord gave me some space near our back field and I spent a full day digging and hauling nutrient rich soil into a 4 by 4 foot plot.

I'm a firm believer in the Square Foot Gardening method of gardening. Square Foot Gardening uses raised bed plots carefully delineated into 12 inch by 12 inch squares.  Each square contains a specific number of seeds, seedlings or plants depending on the plant.  For instance, you can plant 16 carrot seeds in a square but only 1 cauliflower plant.  I first learned about this method when I was a bored stay at home mom back in 1990 after my son was born.  Mel Bartholomew, on his PBS series made it look so easy and it was!  I felt like I'd invented gardening when I proudly presented my first broccoli harvest to my family.  What a sense of accomplishment!  I was hooked.

The first plants go in!

The garden at its peak (and a photobomb by Willow)

Just a small portion of the summer of 2011 harvest

This year's garden is already being planned in my mind.  Kale, arugula, endive, cantaloupe, jalapeno peppers, swiss chard!  Parsnips!  My boyfriend doesn't know it yet but he will be putting in another bed for me next to the existing one.  What I don't use will be donated to the Lisle Community Garden to feed local families.  Nothing like taking a passion and using it to help others.

So as I sit here listening to the winter wind howl outside my window and eagerly anticipate the thaw that will allow me to return to my daily walks at the lake, I dream of colors of carrot orange, mint green and squash yellow and a chance to once again indulge myself in the feel of rich soil between my fingers; a communion with nature.

My Beekman 1802 gardening gloves hanging on for spring!

I Can Choose Peace

 Wise owl.  And a very fitting quote from the Dalai Lama today.

Peace can come in many forms.  For me, it originates in solitude but may come through time spent on an open road and no agenda; time in a good used bookstore or a meal by myself in a strange town.

But I have found that peace can be shattered so quickly by the simple pettiness of small-minded people.  People who disappoint me and hurt me for their own personal gain.  It's times like this that bad memories float to the surface and I'm once again alone in my little boat fighting the demons that threaten to push their way back into my life.

Where do I look to regain that peace?  I find it through time spent alone in communion with the Universe.  If I allow myself to fall into a spell that comes from a Holy Spirit until my equilibrium is reestablished, I will once again be whole.  Meditation focusing on all the things for which I am grateful including my new life that is free of all the anger, resentment and bitterness that plagued me in the past will restore me.  At times, I need to remind myself how close that restoration is and how easily I can tap into it.

Or maybe a simple mantra from A Course in Miracles that says, "I can choose peace instead of this."  Indeed, I can.

A free day and an open road (and lots of fun links)!

I'm not afraid to do things by myself.  I enjoy my own company; a chance to do what I want to do, please no one but myself.  I'm very adept at talking to strangers and do so whenever I have a willing participant.

Yesterday, I ventured out to see The Fabulous Beekman Boys in Groton, New York.  They were doing a book signing for their two books, The Bucolic Plague and their new cookbook, The Beekman 1802 Heirloom Cookbook.  I already own The Bucolic Plague as an e-book but was looking forward to picking up a copy of the cookbook so I could get it signed.

A little about Groton.  Groton is a tiny town about 45 minutes from my home.  I had never been there before but knew it was very rural.  I found visiting this village was like stepping back in time.  The remnants of its Victorian beginnings are still visible (the library has been beautifully preserved) but it appears time stood still right around 1958.  You can almost hear the theme from The Andy Griffith Show playing as its soundtrack.

I also found the only 7-11 I've ever seen in Upstate New York.  Too bad I don't eat chili cheese dogs anymore!

I found my way to the library using these charming local goats as a clue to its location.

Inside the library, I found a packed house with Josh and Brent signing books and greeting fans.  As many of you may know, the "boys" won The Amazing Race last week and I'm sure it has brought a new flock of fans not to mention a $1,000,000 prize.

One line was reserved for those buying cookbooks with a second line for those waiting to meet Josh and Brent and get said cookbook autographed.  I chatted with the ladies in line sharing my best Beekman Boys trivia and sharing pictures of myself with them.  I'm sure they were thrilled.

It wasn't until it was my turn to pick up the cookbook that they announced they were sold out but books could be ordered with signed copies would available for pick up at a later date.  This wasn't what I wanted so I relinquished my place in line and slipped out the door.  I knew I'd be seeing them in Ithaca on Monday and would have the chance to get a copy signed in person then.

Since the weather was picture perfect, I decided to drive 35 miles to my friend's winery on Cayuga Lake in Interlaken, NY.  Americana Vineyards is a beautiful winery with outstanding wines.  The resident labs, Max and Rubie have their very own clever blog and Max was waiting for me on the front deck when I arrived.

The winery has a fantastic little cafe to which I love to introduce my friends.  The last time I was there, it was with a dear friend from Massachusetts who crossed my mind many times as I sat inside enjoying my lunch with a glass of Chardonnay.

Today's choice was pure indulgence; cheddar, Gruyere, goat cheese, smoked gouda and tomato on sourdough bread.  I ate half and saved half as a culinary souvenir a.k.a. lunch for the next day.

Next stop:  Hosmer Winery to visit my high school sweetheart who works there.  It was a quiet day in the Finger Lakes so he and I caught up for a few minutes before I stole a hug and went on my way.

On my way home, I decided to stop in Ithaca to the bookstore where "the boys" would be doing their book signing on Monday night.  Buffalo Street Books is a cool community-owned co-op bookstore inside DeWitt Mall near the Ithaca Commons.  The DeWitt Mall also boasts one of Ithaca's best eateries, The Moosewood Restaurant which is famous not only for its wholesome and delicious food but many cookbooks.

I scored a cookbook and decided to do a little shopping on the commons.  After dodging a very friendly and persistent Greenpeace volunteer soliciting donations and members, I popped into a few stores in search of Christmas gifts for the last few people on my list.  Alas, the only thing I ended up coming home with was a bottle of Ralph's Momma Sauce, my son's favorite.  He will get this along with another gift for his 23rd birthday this week.

When I got home, I still had wanderlust so I decided to go to my favorite local place, Aiello's Restaurant.  All my friends tease me about how much time (and money) I spend here but it's truly become a second home to me.  Their mussels appetizer is to die for so I had that and two Guinnesses before heading home; wanderlust satisfied and ready to climb into bed with my pup.

What's your treasure?

Picture I took in July 2012 of an artist capturing the beauty of 

Seneca Lake from the vineyard at Atwater Estate winery. 

The great seal of truth is simplicity.

~  Herman Boerheave

I will be spending the next two days at a bed and breakfast in the Finger Lakes, namely Cayuga Lake.  My companion and I will be visiting the wineries, enjoying some great food but most importantly, enjoying life.

If I've learned anything over the past few years it's that it isn't important to have material things and how much that "stuff" can hold you hostage.  I'll be the first to admit that I enjoy spending money on good meals and vacations but those luxuries would be meaningless without my children or my friends to share them with.

So this weekend I may be indulging in delicious food and probably too much wine but the memories my friend and I will bring home will be our treasures.  A crisp, autumn day.  Music as we drive.  A cozy bed.  Conversation over coffee.  Sitting on the porch enjoying the night sky.  Our time here is short and must not be wasted.  We need to spend it living and cherishing time with one another before it's too late.

Thankful

God can be worshiped in no more beautiful way than by the spontaneous welling up from one's breast of mutual 

converse with Nature.

~  Goethe

 

 I drove home earlier this week just as the sun had set.  The sight that met me at the overlook took my breath away.  Instinctively, I sent up a thank you to the Universe for allowing me to witness such beauty.  A prayer was offered up at a time I would not have considered myself to be in prayer.  Life is so good!