Almost two weeks ago, my babysitter of two years gave me her notice. She was a wonderful caregiver to my children and treated them as family but it was time for her to find a job outside the home.
My first reaction was, "oh crap. What now?" After thinking about it for a while, I decided that they are old enough to stay home alone after school. Syd will be 12 in December and Mell is 9.
The first thing I did was give them 3x5 cards with one chore written on each. Each child has an envelope and I put three cards inside before I go to work in the morning. When they get off the bus, they are expected to do their homework and then chores. No TV or video games until it's done. For doing this, they would earn $5/week.
Both girls were very excited about this and everything went so smoothly. Their dad picks them up around 5:00 on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and has them until 8:00 but on Mondays, Thursdays and alternate Fridays, they have to wait until 6:00 for me to get home. Each day,the chores were finished and homework had been done.
The big test came on Friday when they had a full day off. I held my breath and set the ground rules; no friends in the house, do your chores, no fighting and don't call me unless someone is spurting blood. They did great! I had Syd put a chicken and baked potatoes in the oven and the smell of dinner greeted me when I walked in the door. It was wonderful.
I have high hopes that things will continue to work out. I was about Syd's age when I became a latchkey kid in a place far less safe than where we live now and did fine. I guess I found another reason to be thankful for life at the lake.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Gratitude
"Gratitude brings more to be grateful about." I just read that quote from Louise L. Hay today and found it to be very timely.
On my way to work this morning, I started thinking about a former boss. He was a wonderful mentor to me and a great leader. I have such respect and affection for him and wondered what he would think about my promotion. I composed a letter of gratitude in my head on my way to work and promised myself I'd handwrite a letter to him today. It felt so good just recalling all the ways he'd helped and supported me early in my career.
Before I got to work, I thought about one of our maintenance assistants and a job he did for me this week. He moved all my marketing materials from an upstairs closet to a downstairs one. It took most of the day and when he was finished the new closet looked fantastic. He had stacked everything so neatly and was very proud of the work he'd done.
I thought it may be nice to pick up a scratch-off lottery card for him to show my appreciation so I stopped at a local convenience store/Dunkin' Donuts. After I bought the card, I stood in line to buy a muffin. Our postman from work was ahead of me and we chatted for a while. He insisted on paying for my muffin. It was a small gesture but it made me feel good and was a lovely start to my day.
I wrote my gratitude letter as soon as I got in the office before I got too busy. A few hours later, I checked on a family member of one of our residents who has moved to a nursing home. His daughter knew of my love of 18th century samplers as I had admired her father's collection. She handed me a book on antique embroidery and told me she wanted me to have it. Again, a small gesture that made me feel wonderful.
About a half hour after that, I got back to my office just as another family member of a different resident was delivering a gorgeous bouquet of roses to me. I was stunned and so grateful! What a lovely, generous gift!
I sat there in awe of the blessings I'd received over the course of what I thought was going to be a normal Saturday at work. I started the day in a spirit of gratitude which multiplied tenfold by the end of it.
So many recommend always having an attitude of gratitude and now I know why. My heart is filled with it now.
On my way to work this morning, I started thinking about a former boss. He was a wonderful mentor to me and a great leader. I have such respect and affection for him and wondered what he would think about my promotion. I composed a letter of gratitude in my head on my way to work and promised myself I'd handwrite a letter to him today. It felt so good just recalling all the ways he'd helped and supported me early in my career.
Before I got to work, I thought about one of our maintenance assistants and a job he did for me this week. He moved all my marketing materials from an upstairs closet to a downstairs one. It took most of the day and when he was finished the new closet looked fantastic. He had stacked everything so neatly and was very proud of the work he'd done.
I thought it may be nice to pick up a scratch-off lottery card for him to show my appreciation so I stopped at a local convenience store/Dunkin' Donuts. After I bought the card, I stood in line to buy a muffin. Our postman from work was ahead of me and we chatted for a while. He insisted on paying for my muffin. It was a small gesture but it made me feel good and was a lovely start to my day.
I wrote my gratitude letter as soon as I got in the office before I got too busy. A few hours later, I checked on a family member of one of our residents who has moved to a nursing home. His daughter knew of my love of 18th century samplers as I had admired her father's collection. She handed me a book on antique embroidery and told me she wanted me to have it. Again, a small gesture that made me feel wonderful.
About a half hour after that, I got back to my office just as another family member of a different resident was delivering a gorgeous bouquet of roses to me. I was stunned and so grateful! What a lovely, generous gift!
I sat there in awe of the blessings I'd received over the course of what I thought was going to be a normal Saturday at work. I started the day in a spirit of gratitude which multiplied tenfold by the end of it.
So many recommend always having an attitude of gratitude and now I know why. My heart is filled with it now.
Monday, August 3, 2009
A wedding
My eldest daughter, Lindsay will be getting married in less than three weeks. I'm very happy for her and her fiancee. They're both mature young people with good jobs and I believe they are prepared for marriage.
I went through a mini mid-life crisis when I heard the news last year. Was I ready to be someone's mother-in-law at age 44? Grandchildren can't be too far behind despite Lindsay's frequent reassurances she's not ready for parenthood.
The idea slowly sunk in and the wedding plans forged ahead. A date, a dress, a venue, the bridal party. It all came together. I found a dress that doesn't make me look like Laura Bush and today finally found shoes and jewelry.
So now the wedding is 19 days away and I'm petrified.
Our life together rolls through my head like a schmaltzy Kodak commercial. Her first cries, kindergarten, the trip we took together to New Jersey and Disney World, just the two of us....they all pass through my mind evoking bittersweet emotions with each one. I grieved when she went away to college and rejoiced when she lived with me two summers ago when she did her externship. And then grieved again when she went back to college.
I will try my best to not cry as my son walks me down the aisle to my seat at the church. I will choke back the tears when she and her husband are pronounced man and wife. And I will dance with joy at her reception knowing I have raised a beautiful, brilliant woman who has a promising life ahead of her and a good man with whom to share it.
I went through a mini mid-life crisis when I heard the news last year. Was I ready to be someone's mother-in-law at age 44? Grandchildren can't be too far behind despite Lindsay's frequent reassurances she's not ready for parenthood.
The idea slowly sunk in and the wedding plans forged ahead. A date, a dress, a venue, the bridal party. It all came together. I found a dress that doesn't make me look like Laura Bush and today finally found shoes and jewelry.
So now the wedding is 19 days away and I'm petrified.
Our life together rolls through my head like a schmaltzy Kodak commercial. Her first cries, kindergarten, the trip we took together to New Jersey and Disney World, just the two of us....they all pass through my mind evoking bittersweet emotions with each one. I grieved when she went away to college and rejoiced when she lived with me two summers ago when she did her externship. And then grieved again when she went back to college.
I will try my best to not cry as my son walks me down the aisle to my seat at the church. I will choke back the tears when she and her husband are pronounced man and wife. And I will dance with joy at her reception knowing I have raised a beautiful, brilliant woman who has a promising life ahead of her and a good man with whom to share it.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
10 days to fill
The kids are going to the Adirondacks with their grandparents tomorrow and will be gone for 10 days. 10 days with no one to be responsible for but myself. I've contemplated how I'll spend my time. The last thing I want to do is wonder why I didn't take advantage of my alone time while I had it. I'm having negative cash flow issues (never say you're broke) so I have to be creative with my ideas.
I've come up with the following list:
All these options don't cost a dime and I know I'll enjoy each of them. I always seem to be short on time and money. This week, I'll have the time even if I don't have the money.
I've come up with the following list:
- work on a new small cross stitch project. I have a cute pattern for an American flag I may work on using the colors in my guestroom and the embroidery floss that's stuffed in a drawer there
- finish reading my book on Einstein
- walk daily at the lake. Maybe go a little crazy and stick my feet in the water.
- get ahead in my schoolwork
- clean out my car
- finally watch Slumdog Millionaire. It's been sitting on top of my TV for weeks and I'd really like to get it back to the nice people at Netflix.
- sit in the sun and try to get a little color on this Irish skin
All these options don't cost a dime and I know I'll enjoy each of them. I always seem to be short on time and money. This week, I'll have the time even if I don't have the money.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Magic at the lake
I had a great night tonight. My neighbors, Sergio and Iris from across the hall invited me to have dinner with them. Iris had been waiting for me to come home all day and started bringing food out as soon as my car pulled into the parking lot.
Pulled pork, barbequed chicken and ribs, Spanish rice, pasta salad. You would have thought they were feeding an army! Iris' son and girlfriend from Brooklyn joined us and the evening turned into a full moon night.
Sergio pulled a speaker from his apartment and we listened to Luther Vandross and Donna Summer and drank wine under the stars. It was wonderful. Iris and I sang stupid disco songs from the 70's and Sergio brought out hot fried plantanos with cilantro and olive oil to dip them in. Usually, I have two speeds: full tilt and stop. Tonight I found another: relax.
I kept looking for a good time to say goodnight and head upstairs but every time I tried either Iris or Sergio would say, "this is how life should be" or "you could never find this kind of night in Brooklyn" and I would believe I was part of what was making the night so special for all of us and would feel compelled to stay and not take a chance of breaking the spell.
I finally said goodnight at 11:00 with a reminder from Sergio that I was invited for breakfast at 11:00 the next morning. I crept into my apartment and shut off the lights taking a last look at the backyard and watched the tiki lights being extinguished, one by one.
Who would have thought such a magical night would have happened in Whitney Point?
Pulled pork, barbequed chicken and ribs, Spanish rice, pasta salad. You would have thought they were feeding an army! Iris' son and girlfriend from Brooklyn joined us and the evening turned into a full moon night.
Sergio pulled a speaker from his apartment and we listened to Luther Vandross and Donna Summer and drank wine under the stars. It was wonderful. Iris and I sang stupid disco songs from the 70's and Sergio brought out hot fried plantanos with cilantro and olive oil to dip them in. Usually, I have two speeds: full tilt and stop. Tonight I found another: relax.
I kept looking for a good time to say goodnight and head upstairs but every time I tried either Iris or Sergio would say, "this is how life should be" or "you could never find this kind of night in Brooklyn" and I would believe I was part of what was making the night so special for all of us and would feel compelled to stay and not take a chance of breaking the spell.
I finally said goodnight at 11:00 with a reminder from Sergio that I was invited for breakfast at 11:00 the next morning. I crept into my apartment and shut off the lights taking a last look at the backyard and watched the tiki lights being extinguished, one by one.
Who would have thought such a magical night would have happened in Whitney Point?
Friday, June 5, 2009
DAR
Last night I did a presentation for our local chapter of the DAR. This is a small group of very nice ladies who appreciate my willingness to provide them with historical information.
We had only about 8 people but the amazing thing was that four of them were descendents of Deborah Sampson, the person whose story I was telling that night. I was pleased to see them taking notes which meant I was providing them with information they didn't already have.
I'm giving serious consideration to starting a small (very small) business doing this for other organizations. The whole reason I started reenacting was to educate the public and there's only so much I can do at actual events. This will give me a fun way to get information out to interested people and make some money for our regiment.
When I told a friend about my engagement last night and my thoughts about starting the business, she told me I was crazy. Single mother working full-time, taking classes and involved in a demanding hobby. Why do I want to add more to my already full plate?
Life, to me, is to be lived. I'm happiest when I'm feeling busy and needed. I can't imagine having a dead end job and coming home every night to an empty house with nothing to do but watch television or surf the internet. Life gives you many opportunities but very little time. I choose to use it wisely.
We had only about 8 people but the amazing thing was that four of them were descendents of Deborah Sampson, the person whose story I was telling that night. I was pleased to see them taking notes which meant I was providing them with information they didn't already have.
I'm giving serious consideration to starting a small (very small) business doing this for other organizations. The whole reason I started reenacting was to educate the public and there's only so much I can do at actual events. This will give me a fun way to get information out to interested people and make some money for our regiment.
When I told a friend about my engagement last night and my thoughts about starting the business, she told me I was crazy. Single mother working full-time, taking classes and involved in a demanding hobby. Why do I want to add more to my already full plate?
Life, to me, is to be lived. I'm happiest when I'm feeling busy and needed. I can't imagine having a dead end job and coming home every night to an empty house with nothing to do but watch television or surf the internet. Life gives you many opportunities but very little time. I choose to use it wisely.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Albany
Who knew Albany, New York could be so romantic?
Bob and I had made plans to go to Jerusalem Mill in Maryland for a reenactment but it was cancelled due to the ground being saturated. We were disappointed but decided to go ahead with our plans to get together.
We booked a room in Albany through Priceline and met there on Friday after work. We had a nice meal at Smokey Bones where I was able to satisfy my Mojito craving. If you ask Bob, he'll tell you it's more like an obsession. And don't mess with my Mojito. The only true Mojito is one made with a simple sugar solution, rum, seltzer and fresh mint. Please leave all the girly berries and other nonsense out, thankyouverymuch.
We enjoyed sleeping late on Saturday morning, a luxury neither of us indulges very often. While he was in the shower, I surfed the 'net looking for something fun to do. St. Sophia's was having their Annual Greek Festival so I mapquested it and announced our adventure to Bob as soon as he came out of the bathroom. I wasn't sure he'd like it but he was game and we were off!
We stopped for a quick bite to eat at a diner (a roll for me, french toast (of course) for him) and started driving toward the site of the festival. We were early so we scoured the area for garage sales.
Now, what I ever did to deserve a man who enjoys garage sales as much as I I'll never know. We found such treasures! Bob bought me a mink stole for $2. A good one too with heads and tails at both ends! I bought a cheap necklace for myself for fifty cents since I'd forgotten to pack jewelry. I also scored a complete set of good knives for $2.
By this time it was time to head to the church. We lucked out with a parking spot right in front, paid our $2 admission and started looking around. I finally found what I was looking for....food! Gyros, cheap wine and honey soaked fried dough. Mmmmmm!
I got adventurous and tried Metaxa for the first time. The bartender let me taste some and it was pretty good so I ordered it. A little old Greek lady standing next to me said in broken English, "Metaxa?" When I nodded she said, "You drink Metaxa, you don't drive." Yes, ma'am. It turned out to be good advice as I nursed that little cup for the rest of the afternoon.
We watched the dancers for a while and I was very impressed that there were so many young people interested in preserving their heritage. The best part for me was when a little old Greek man dressed in a suit got up to dance with his teenaged granddaughter. He had the time of his life though at times I was worried they'd have to call an ambulance. I have a soft spot for seniors.
We left the festival late in the afternoon and went looking for a WalMart. On our way, we saw the "Big Dog" in downtown Albany. This is a dog that looks just like Nipper from RCA Victor and is perched on top of a building. You can see it from the highway and we pass it all the time. Every time we're apart and pass it, we'll send a text saying, "big dog". In my best whiny voice, I told Bob I wanted a picture of it. Bless his heart, he drove right up to the building so I could get some good shots.
We finally found a KMart where we picked up chips and salsa for dinner. I think we were still full of the honey balls so the thought of going somewhere to eat wasn't very appealing. Upon arriving back at the hotel, we headed to the pool to soak in the hot tub for a while. Bob loves hot tubs but I can only take them for so long. I was happy to keep him company while he enjoyed soaking.
We spent the rest of the night eating chips and salsa and watching HBO. It was so relaxing and fun especially watching a stand-up comic. I have never heard Bob laugh so hard and it did my heart good to witness it. He's been working so hard and this break was just what he needed. It's wonderful that we're so compatible and enjoy just spending time together.
We left the hotel around noon on Sunday and went to Crossgates Mall. I treated him to lunch at Houlihan's where we watched people and talked about our future. I always hate Sundays when we've been together all weekend and Bob knows it. We save all our serious conversations for this time and I start to get quiet and sad knowing we'll be saying goodbye soon. He cheered me up by suggesting we pick out a tie for him to wear to Lindsay's wedding. Off we went to Macy's where we found the perfect tie to complement his suit and my dress.
I'm sure this post sounds boring to a lot of people but it shows how the simple things can bring so much happiness. We didn't need to spend a lot of money or go somewhere special to feel re-connected and re-charged. I know all relationships aren't like that and really feel blessed to be in one.
Bob and I had made plans to go to Jerusalem Mill in Maryland for a reenactment but it was cancelled due to the ground being saturated. We were disappointed but decided to go ahead with our plans to get together.
We booked a room in Albany through Priceline and met there on Friday after work. We had a nice meal at Smokey Bones where I was able to satisfy my Mojito craving. If you ask Bob, he'll tell you it's more like an obsession. And don't mess with my Mojito. The only true Mojito is one made with a simple sugar solution, rum, seltzer and fresh mint. Please leave all the girly berries and other nonsense out, thankyouverymuch.
We enjoyed sleeping late on Saturday morning, a luxury neither of us indulges very often. While he was in the shower, I surfed the 'net looking for something fun to do. St. Sophia's was having their Annual Greek Festival so I mapquested it and announced our adventure to Bob as soon as he came out of the bathroom. I wasn't sure he'd like it but he was game and we were off!
We stopped for a quick bite to eat at a diner (a roll for me, french toast (of course) for him) and started driving toward the site of the festival. We were early so we scoured the area for garage sales.
Now, what I ever did to deserve a man who enjoys garage sales as much as I I'll never know. We found such treasures! Bob bought me a mink stole for $2. A good one too with heads and tails at both ends! I bought a cheap necklace for myself for fifty cents since I'd forgotten to pack jewelry. I also scored a complete set of good knives for $2.
By this time it was time to head to the church. We lucked out with a parking spot right in front, paid our $2 admission and started looking around. I finally found what I was looking for....food! Gyros, cheap wine and honey soaked fried dough. Mmmmmm!
I got adventurous and tried Metaxa for the first time. The bartender let me taste some and it was pretty good so I ordered it. A little old Greek lady standing next to me said in broken English, "Metaxa?" When I nodded she said, "You drink Metaxa, you don't drive." Yes, ma'am. It turned out to be good advice as I nursed that little cup for the rest of the afternoon.
We watched the dancers for a while and I was very impressed that there were so many young people interested in preserving their heritage. The best part for me was when a little old Greek man dressed in a suit got up to dance with his teenaged granddaughter. He had the time of his life though at times I was worried they'd have to call an ambulance. I have a soft spot for seniors.
We left the festival late in the afternoon and went looking for a WalMart. On our way, we saw the "Big Dog" in downtown Albany. This is a dog that looks just like Nipper from RCA Victor and is perched on top of a building. You can see it from the highway and we pass it all the time. Every time we're apart and pass it, we'll send a text saying, "big dog". In my best whiny voice, I told Bob I wanted a picture of it. Bless his heart, he drove right up to the building so I could get some good shots.
We finally found a KMart where we picked up chips and salsa for dinner. I think we were still full of the honey balls so the thought of going somewhere to eat wasn't very appealing. Upon arriving back at the hotel, we headed to the pool to soak in the hot tub for a while. Bob loves hot tubs but I can only take them for so long. I was happy to keep him company while he enjoyed soaking.
We spent the rest of the night eating chips and salsa and watching HBO. It was so relaxing and fun especially watching a stand-up comic. I have never heard Bob laugh so hard and it did my heart good to witness it. He's been working so hard and this break was just what he needed. It's wonderful that we're so compatible and enjoy just spending time together.
We left the hotel around noon on Sunday and went to Crossgates Mall. I treated him to lunch at Houlihan's where we watched people and talked about our future. I always hate Sundays when we've been together all weekend and Bob knows it. We save all our serious conversations for this time and I start to get quiet and sad knowing we'll be saying goodbye soon. He cheered me up by suggesting we pick out a tie for him to wear to Lindsay's wedding. Off we went to Macy's where we found the perfect tie to complement his suit and my dress.
I'm sure this post sounds boring to a lot of people but it shows how the simple things can bring so much happiness. We didn't need to spend a lot of money or go somewhere special to feel re-connected and re-charged. I know all relationships aren't like that and really feel blessed to be in one.
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