Monday, February 21, 2011

The light at the end of the tunnel

"A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart."


In a small line at the end of his status update, Bob made an announcement that will change both of our lives forever:

"I'm moving to NY to be with Chris."

Now, this plan has been in place for 5 years but one thing after another got in the way. It wasn't until both of us realized how much we meant to each other and how quickly we could lose it did anything change.

My mind has been whirring lately with the thought of welcoming this man into our everyday lives. I'm making room in my closet, my dresser is now his and I think about how every single facet of my life and my girls' lives will change. I will no longer be alone. I will no longer ache to see him, to touch him.

I think back on all the times when something has happened to him and I wasn't there to offer comfort in a way instant messages and phone calls cannot do. There's nothing worse than being spiritually there for someone yet out of arms' reach.

I will have someone to spend evenings with watching movies or in conversation over a glass of wine. To know I will have a dinner partner every night; to have someone to fill that empty chair at our table. My future will no longer be a question I ask only myself.

I'm sure there will be some logistics to work out. For now, we're in my small three-bedroom apartment with one bathroom to share between four of us. Willow will most certainly be unhappy about being displaced as my bed partner. Then there's the question of what will happen with all his "stuff". Those things will work themselves out. I'm certain of that.

I'm also certain that this will be the greatest adventure of our lives.